Post nerdy jokes in here.

Pundar · Post by **Pundar** » Thu Sep 28, 2006 5:07 am

Whats the speed of Dark?

Smelly old Hob · Post by **Smelly old Hob** » Thu Sep 28, 2006 6:06 am

42? As according to Douglas Adams it is the answer to everything.

Smelly old Hob · Post by **Smelly old Hob** » Sat Sep 30, 2006 12:42 pm

How many ears does Captain Kirk from Star Trek have?

Three he has a left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier. OH SNAP!

--------------------------------------------------------

How does Micheal Jackson pick his nose?

He uses a catalog. BUUUUUUUURN!!

Pundar · Post by **Pundar** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 5:44 pm

The Speed of dark is the speed of light, kuz dark comes as fast as light goes.

Severian · Post by **Severian** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 2:53 pm

Pundar wrote:What's the speed of Dark?

Pundar wrote:The Speed of dark is the speed of light, kuz dark comes as fast as light goes.

meh, that's not funny

Light moves. Darkness is the absence of light and does not. If, for example, you attempted to measure the speed at which darkness engulfs a room you'd actually be measuring a function of the speed of light.

In keeping with the topic:

Why did the computer break down?

[spoiler]Because it had a terminal illness![/spoiler]

ComfortablySad · Post by **ComfortablySad** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 6:20 pm

Yo momma's so small she hang glides on Dorritos.

Ciriene · Post by **Ciriene** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:34 pm

pictures apply? I hope

Severian · Post by **Severian** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:40 pm

How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

[spoiler]1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.[/spoiler]

Post by **IronFlats** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:22 pm

Is that based on String Theory?

Severian · Post by **Severian** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 10:01 pm

IronFlats wrote:Is that based on String Theory?

nah, kind of an old joke regarding the pentium II math bug... although some string theory jokes would be good

Post by **Kordolin** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 12:31 am

Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained that it was surprisingly high. "I'll tell you what," said the cynic, "ask that waitress a simple math question. If she gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do". He then excused himself to visit the men's room, and the other called the waitress over. "When my friend comes back," he told her, "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to respond `one third x cubed.' There's twenty bucks in it for you." She agreed. The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. "The food was wonderful, thank you," the mathematician started. "Incidentally, do you know what the integral of x squared is?" The waitress looked pensive; almost pained. She looked around the room, at her feet, made gurgling noises, and finally said, "Um, one third x cubed?" So the cynic paid the check. The waitress wheeled around, walked a few paces away, looked back at the two men, and muttered under her breath, "...plus a constant."

Similiar to the Woman = Evil joke 86 posted:

Studying expands knowledge,
Knowledge is power,
Power corrupts,
Corruption is a crime,
Crime doesn't pay.
Why study?

Post by **Kordolin** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 12:54 am

Found this on a website:

Subject: The Nature of Hell

Thermodynamic Question: Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

If you don't know the answer, then please read the following response. Dr.Schambaugh, of the Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, is known for asking questions such as "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II course was "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into Hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change in volume in Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to remain constant.

Two options exist:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

or,

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until all Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account that I have still not succeeded in having sexual relations with Theresa, then Option 2 cannot be true.

Thus, hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A in the course.

Smelly old Hob · Post by **Smelly old Hob** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:23 am

Been awhile since I updated this topic. A new joke tonight.

What happened to Aeries from FFVII when she got out of the shower?

[spoilers]Aeries dries.[/spoilers]