Lol!

[Rengar]

Funny joke...

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.

A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a drivers license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.


Try it sometime Rokrayne

[Smelly old Hob]

Women jokes time obviously some may be offensive.


Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

Cause she's a woman!


A woman crashes into a man. Who's at fault?

The woman! What was she doing out of the kitchen?


why do women have small feet?

so they can stand closer to the stove!


Why has no woman ever climbed Mt. Everest?

Because there's no mountain between the bedroom and the kitchen.


Why do brides usually wear white?

Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the refrigerator and the stove.


How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, feminists cant change a thing.


A man and a woman are in a car accident. Who's at fault?

The man. What was he doing driving into a kitchen?


What do you call a woman you find outside of the kitchen?

Out of place object.


How do you turn your dishwasher into a snowblower?

Hand her a shovel.


When is the only time a woman is above a man?

When the kitchen is on the second floor.


http://beconfused.com/images/2007/06/Fe ... ged-in.jpg


What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?

A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.


Why did God make Adam first instead of Eve?

So Adam would actually get a chance to talk.



Why do women fake climax?

Because they think men care.


Why don't women wear wrist watches?

There's a clock on the stove.


I hate porn, simply because of its depiction of women.

I mean, they're not even in a kitchen!


How can you tell if your wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.


Q: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. They just sit there and complain about how dark it is.


Where would men be without women?

In the garden of eden.


What do you call a woman out of the kitchen?

LOST


I think I could cut it as a girl. All they do is make sandwiches and mistakes.

[Aamrie]

can I come kick your butt now or later?

[Smelly old Hob]

omfg meet me @ teh corner of fif an franklin. I keeps it real!1

[Kordolin]

omfg meet me @ teh corner of fif an franklin. I keeps it real!1

rofl